#forced to piss

[mychemicalbrromance]

Guys ive been reading peak

[kaisollisto]

Everyday is drink water just to piss 🫠☹️

[lilislegacy]

does anyone else forget that percy and annabeth (and all demigods) aren’t actually human? they’re part human, part deity. but not identified as either.

like… they have some human dna, they appear human and act human and feel human… but they are not human. just like they’re 50% god, but they are not gods. becasue even though the gods choose to appear as humans, they are composed of the same fundamental particles and forces that make up everything in the universe. they’re incorporeal energy. they’re these metaphysical transcendent entities that can shape-shift

and that is half of what a demigod is. percy and annabeth are not human beings. they’re some kind of hybrids. they’re humanoids. if percy and annabeth were to take DNA tests, the results would look something like this:

findings: what the fuck? error.

and i low key feel like they would have a good time using this fact to make ppl uncomfortable

like imagine percy and annabeth are out with both their families on a walk near the beach, and there’s this little mini cliff. percy and annabeth just casually jump down, but the rest of them are like “uh, guys, we can’t do that” to which percy and annabeth just respond “ugh, humans…🙄” knowing full well that for the rest of the day, all any of them will be able to think about is how the two of them are in fact, not human.

[dapper-lil-arts]

this is how their first meeting went right

[cryptcoop]

teeny rabbit

[eeriedragone]

I had a random idea of Kaycee using the dagger, and then my thoughts spiralled

Maybe an earlier version of Inscryption allowed the player to use the dagger more often, and Kaycee took advantage of it as often as possible, even though she should have fixed the mechanic as soon as she noticed. She's forced to do it when Leshy gets fed up with it and retaliates.

If she could she'd jump him and find the missing eyeballs, but she's not literally in the game (yet), so her movement is very limited. Leshy couldn't just delete the eyeballs, so he stuffed them in his mouth and is storing them in his cheeks like a squirrel (so imagine him in the comic as if he's speaking with his mouth full).

[icarusredwings]

That's it. Fuck you.

*Takes the pool out of your Poolveriness*

Vanessa and Logan are going on a date, and they're leaving Wade at HOME.

How do you V antis feel about that HM?

"OoOohHhh vanessas so terrible, vanessa was such a bitch, *Makes her homophobic for some reason*, Vanessa is jealous, Dp loves Logan more then Vanessa, Vanessa-"

VANESSA IS GONNA TAKE HIM TO A FANCY RESTAURANT AND TREAT HIM LIKE A BABYGIRL

VANESSA IS GONNA PRAISE HIM FOR HOW WELL HES HANDLING WADES NONSENSE

VANESSA IS GOING TO GENUIENLY COMPLIMENT HIS PERSONALITY AND NOT JUST HIS LOOKS

VANESSAS GONNA PEG LOGAN THE WAY JEAN WISHES SHE COULD HAVE

Then what? Huh!? Then what!? Thats what I thought you fucking cowards.

[nartml]

"Why don't we lower the net?"

JESUS CHRIST HOW MANY LIFE LESSONS CAN YOU EVEN FIT IN A STORY? ARE YOU NOT TIRED FURUDATE? ARE YOU NOT TIRED OF COOKING 24/7?

[corruptcuntboy]

Need a dom who knows I pee a lot when I get drunk so they make me drink a ton n sit me on their lap so they can grope and play with me while I'm all drunk n they don't let me get up to go pee bc I'd "have to go every 5 minutes" so they tell me to just pee in their lap anyways n grope me a little harder each time I leak 😵‍💫

[clown-creep]

I went down a very interesting rabbit hole because of @bestosunglass lol! But big props to them, it’s basically their version of the character just with a few personal tweaks. So credit to them!

[blingblong55]

“GAZ IS A CHEATER FOR REAL” “Soap would use you for your body and laugh later” “Ghost is an abuser and loves to do it” “Price cheats on his wife”

Bro these men deal with absolute bitches, they have been through enough and and know about loyalty, bond and brotherhood, trust me they are far from that. Gaz has values, look at how he looks/reacts to Graves. Soap didn’t even dare be aggressive when asking for the girls finger, he could’ve forced her to do it but didn’t. Ghost has seen abuse first hand, no he fucking wouldn’t hurt you. Price also has values and one of them is loyalty, so get your shit straight.

They are fictional, so I would do this if they did this to me:

[burst-of-iridescent]

seeing the same people who complained that zutara fandom adultified katara & insisted that she was just as much of a child in the show as the rest of the gaang now having a meltdown over some vague ass interviews that might imply katara is no longer taking as much of a motherly role in the live action because “it ruins her character”… funny, i thought yall said zutara shippers were just making that up?

[i-like-forcefem]

Welcome to your first day on the job cutie!

Now I know you’re new but we do have a dress code

yes, yes, your suit is nice and all, but everyone knows a secretary needs to look cute!

I’m quite surprised you forgot that, but don’t worry cutie, I’ve got a spare dress for emergencies like this that I’m sure will look lovely on you, and after you get your first pay check you can work on making your own wardrobe of work clothes

What do you mean you’re not going to wear it? Humiliating? Girly?

You really didn’t read the contract at all, did you honey? We can decide how you dress when working! Either put on the princess dress or we have every right to fire you for breach of contract! And I know for a fact you can’t afford to lose this job~

There we go! Hehehe, that was easier then I thought, you look absolutely marvellous dear, I’m so glad we hired a cutie like you!

Now go refill the coffee of all our valued employees! And since you haven’t read the contract properly I’ll tell you now: if anyone asks you for anything, no matter how humiliating, it’s your job to see it done!

Off you go now cutie! And don’t forget to call everyone Sir or Ma’m! You’re the junior here and I know our employees can get quite mean if you ever forget that!

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 79

  When Pariah was awoken from his slumber, he wasn’t exactly expecting it. One was never expecting to awaken when they were supposed to be sealed for eternity after all. He also wasn’t expecting for the reason the sarcophagus was even opened to be a pair of literal infants. A pair of very sick infants.

  One was a newborn ancient for Realms’ sake! Two years dead, if that, and the other- Where was their guardian?! Who had let an obsession get that bad?! How long had he been sealed away that no one had caught an obsession turning toxic and harmful towards a ghostling?! 

  Why was he even sealed inside this area of the zone?! Why had his Keep been moved in the center of one of the zones where ghostlings formed?! He’d never harm a ghostling, but if he’d been any madder (And he knows he had lost it near the end there, that he’d gone too far as he cracked under the weight of the Realms, he’d had an eternity to realize) it would have been a catastrophe! 

  Who has been in charge, the observants!? … What the fuck, that was supposed to be rhetorical! No! They’re good for paperwork but they seem to have failed even at that and- what do you mean they’ve sealed Clockwork away?! 

  The already traumatized Time Primordial who was in this type of area specifically to care for ghostlings, and was now being prevented?! How long has this been going on- No! He’s fixing his realms-damned kingdom before he even thinks about conquering other ones, because who the fuck let it get this bad!

   Pspsps, here little sick ghostlings, he’s trying very hard not to hurt you but you are very tiny and he has been locked away for a long time so please stop squirming…

[short-wooloo]

Because the stupid acolyte witches have brought it back to the forefront with their nonsense, I need to remind everyone

DARTH PLAGUEIS DID NOT CREATE ANAKIN

People who either never read or haven't read the Darth Plagueis book in a long time always seem to forget that Plagueis' experiments FAILED

He tried-TRIED to create life through the Force, it didn't work, badly, it didn't work so badly that it managed to piss off the Force which in turn retaliated by creating Anakin, Plagueis' attempt at creating life was so unnatural, such a perversion, so offensive that the Force created a life form for the purpose of destroying the sith

[garlic-and-vanilla]

“You feel the Emperor's fear as if it were your own. An elder brain enslaved is one thing, an elder brain unleashed will be the end of everything.”

This is a quote from early in the long rest scene you get after discovering that Stelmane has been murdered.

The Emperor is afraid because it knows that if the Absolute breaks free of the stones’ control, it will be the end of everything, everywhere, as everyone knows it.

This isn’t some kind of recent revelation, there’s no reason to believe Emps didn’t know this from the start.

So why didn’t it take the protection of the prism and that nautiloid Gortash put it in command of and get the fuck out of dodge? Why didn’t it just hop planes until it was as far from Toril as possible and start a new life? The Absolute would usher in the Grand Design, sure, but that’s not a process that would happen quickly. At least, not quickly enough to reach a rogue illithid who had parked itself at the opposite end of the universe before said illithid died of old age.

Hell, why not try eating Orpheus too? The Emperor will say it’s too risky, if Tav asks it about doing so in act 2, but that becomes a gamble it’s willing to take by the end of act 3.

So why doesn’t the Emperor just give up its life in Baldur’s Gate, retire to the farthest plane it can find, and find out if making Orpheus its lunch will confer the Power to itself. What are the downsides? If it doesn’t work then all Emps has to do is stay outside the Absolute’s zone of influence until something else eventually kills him. Not ideal, but pretty doable considering it would have a spelljamming nautiloid at its disposal.

But guess what? The Emperor doesn’t do that. It says “this elder brain unleashed will be the end of everything” and it scrapes together a plan to kill the Absolute while it’s still able to be killed.

The Emperor had the means and ability to nope the hell out, and instead it put itself at the mercy of strangers with nothing but the hope that they would help it stop this apocalyptic threat. It spends the events of the game in a cage of its own making, with its life, its freedom, and the fate of Toril and ultimately every other world lying in the player’s hands.

And at the end, it doesn’t want control of the Absolute. You have to pass a persuasion check to get it to do anything but command the Brain to die. It wants that threat dead.

Then people want to try and argue that the Emperor is evil and only wants to manipulate Tav into taking over the world.

Yeah okay buddy. Sure. Guess we’re playing different games.